Permanence

I've been contimplating the permanence of my dreadlocks the last few
days. When I look in the mirror I have a hard time envisioning what
they will look like in six months. When I feel them, especially the
roots that seem to get looser while each dread gets tighter, I imagine
how much more startling it will be when I cut them off.
Compared to my past hairstyles, dreadlocks are pretty permanent. But I
could cut them off at any time and have a normal sorta bob in just a
few months. Even if I keep them for the rest of my life, compared to
God, they're just a blip. And isn't that part of the point? To remind
me that stuff, like my hairstyle, is inconsiquential?
I'm trying to find my identity in Jesus, rather than my hair or
clothes or job. It's ok that I enjoy my clothes and it's important
that I consider them, but ultimately they'll fade away.
I read an article today that dealt with this. You can find it here:
> http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/2417_jesus__the_buddha_on_happiness/

New Cloth Diaper

I just finished purchasing a few more cloth diapers online today. I got a few Fuzzi Bunz one size this time because although I really like the Bum Genius one size the velcro hasn't held up as well as the snaps after two years. As I was checking out the site I bought them from I discovered a new diaper that looks great!

I buy my diapers from Nicki's Diapers because they always have the best prices, great customer service and free shipping on pocket diapers! (at least right now!)

In the next month or so Nicki's Diapers will have a full stock of made in the USA one size diapers that look great! Whenever they're available I'm going to give one a try. If you're new to cloth and would like to check it out I recommend a snapping one size diaper (such as the Fuzzi Bunz) and Nicki's Diapers New Best Bottom Diaper - it's a great price and looks like (as they say) it has all the pros of other popular diapers without the cons!

One of the features is that the insert just snaps into the shell rather than needing to be stuffed into the pocket. Personally I haven't stuffed my inserts since Ruby was just a few months old - it saves time and diapers - but the fleece still soaks some up and an all PUL cover wouldn't have that problem!

Dreads Day 9

9 days and 2 washes and my dreads are doing well. They're softer than
before and although they're still really frizzy I can crochet them
myself to tighten them up. I'm really looking forward to seeing them
evolve more. I'll try to get some good photos of them soon.

Dreadlocks

They're finished! I've got a head full of baby dreads!

I haven't always wanted dreads but now that I have them I'm surprised that I didn't get them long ago.

Last Wednesday Chuck and I were out having a coffee date. He asked me if when we got home he could run me a bath so I could continue to relax. He immediately remembered that I don't like baths and quickly added that he would be glad to start a shower for me instead. I paused and looked up as I mentally calculated whether or not I needed a shower. He laughed, "Do you really not like taking a shower either?" I explained that no, I didn't particularly care for taking showers with small people hanging off me, then having to dry, straighten and style my hair. We discussed that a bit and decided that it's mainly the drying and styling of my hair after a shower that I dislike not the resulting cleanliness.

"You should get dreadlocks. Then you'd never have to shower!" Chuck exclaimed. We both made grossed out faces and then thought, do you really not shower? Surely not. We Googled it.

After a bit of research we realized you can and should shower with dreadlocks. Then after looking through flickr albums of people with dreads and both of us liking what we saw we decided that I should in fact get dreads. It made so much sense. Not only would it free me from having to "do"' my hair each day but I felt that it would also free me from the fear that I still held onto of what others thought of me and how they perceived me based on how I looked.

I realized (or at least finally admitted) that while I was shedding my dependence on clothing to define me I was still struggling with my hair (and thus overall appearance). Since going through recovery and taking inventory of my faith and lack thereof I've been aware that I fear people and their opinions. Shedding a "socially acceptable" hair style doesn't cure that, if I'm not careful I could fall into the same trap with another set of people. I could move from seeking acceptance in the minivan and soccer mom set to the no deodorant and pachouli set. 

The only way to kill this fear of man in myself is to rely on God for my identity.

I want to enjoy Him and who he made me to be when I look in the mirror in the morning (or afternoon) instead of worry about the state of my hairstyle or the lack thereof. I'm sure that some days I'll wake up and love this freewheeling low maintenance do and other days I'll forget my reasons and not. Either way (feast or famine, laughter or tears) God is enough and I hope to grow into that reality as my dreads grow. As many people with dreads say, "it's a journey."

Canton (Dreadlocks coming soon)

My head is only half done. We haven't had much time to work on it and
dreads take a long time. Oh yeah, if you haven't heard I'm getting
dreadlocks.

I'll put up a longer post about them and photos when they're finished.
If you're really curious you can check out Sara's site at www.walkslowlylivewildly.com
. She's a big part of my inspiration for doing them and has even
helped via some email chats. She's really sweet and if want to see her
dread journey check out this flickr set: http://www.flickr.com/photos/happyjanssens/sets/72157594476412897/

In the meantime Enzo and I are going to Canton with Suzanne, her mom
and her grandmother. This is my first time going so I'm really
excited. Rumor has it that even Martha Stewart (THE Martha Stewart)
goes to Canton.
Chuck's having a date with Ruby today and I think they're going to
have a blast.

Have a wonderful Saturday!